You have watched them change and grow older over the years and you have become more aware of their often frail situation. You worry about your parents but don’t exactly know how to approach them about your concerns.

I want to begin with what NOT to talk about first. Although there are many important safety issues on your mind, you don’t want to begin the conversation in a threatening way. For example, your first conversation should not be, “So Mom, how do you feel about moving into a nursing home?” Or “How would you feel about a caregiver moving in with you?”

Instead, begin with a few questions or issues that are non-threatening but make sense that they should be done. -Practical questions

I emphasize this notion of practicality. Our parents’ generation is practical, and does not want to engage in things that seem frivolous or unnecessary. By starting with small, concrete issues, such as gathering emergency information, you will not immediately tap into the potential for deep emotion and grief that often makes discussions about the future so frightening.

I’m suggesting such a list below. Try out this list of things in order to build on the conversation. Don’t attempt to do the entire list at once. Do what you can in just a few minutes. Come back and deal with another item at another time. You and your aging parent will begin to feel a rhythm and flow to the process and begin to build the habit of communicating and gathering information that may be needed in future.

1. Emergency Contact Information — Make sure your parent has a list of people (family or friends) to contact in an emergency. Your parents’ neighbors have probably waved to you and said “Hello”, but if there were an emergency, would they know how or where to call you? Put the names of all the adult children, along with home, work, and cell phone numbers together on one list. Then make sure a copy is with a neighbor, close friend, church, or club where your parent spends time. All of this information is gathered on our medical alert system enrollment form so that in the event the “panic button” is pressed our care specialist can call the approopriate person to notify them of the condition of the

2. Emergency Medical Information — Put together a list of your parent’s doctors names, medications, allergies, and a brief medical history (major illnesses or surgeries, etc). Also list their Medical Insurance Policies and numbers. Keep a copy in an designated place in their house, and keep a copy yourself (especially if you live out of town). In case of emergency, this information may be needed quickly. Again, this information is collected by MedFirst Alert to notify the paramedics of any past or current medical history so that the appropriate actions are taken immediately.

3. Emergency Health Care Decision Maker — To prepare for any emergency, your parent will need to designate someone to make decisions for them, if, they are temporarily unable to speak for themselves. This is a legal status commonly called a Health Care Power of Attorney” or a “Medical Power of Attorney” (The name will vary from state to state, or province to province.) The forms can be picked up from your doctor or at your local hospital. This form will allow your parent to name someone who will legally be able to communicate with their doctors and make decisions on your parents behalf if they are unable to. (Even though the word “attorney” is in the name, it does not need to be completed by a lawyer. In most states you just need to have a person of legal age witness both people sign it.) You can also click here to get more information about the Medical Power of Attorney, or to

download the forms for your state.

Make sure that the Health Care Power of Attorney has a copy of all the information that was compiled in #1.

4. Emergency Cash — Your parent should designate a person who can access their bank account in case of emergency in order to pay any bills that are essential. This legal status, know as a “Durable Power of Attorney for Finances” must be drawn up with a lawyer. This way, your parents can specify their intentions that this only go into effect in case of emergency and if they are unable to speak and act for themselves. Other stipulations could be attached which their lawyer can explain.

5. Emergency Plan for the Pets — If your parents are temporarily unable to care for them, what’s the plan for their beloved pets?

6. Emergency Keys — In case of emergency, who has keys to your parent’s house?

7. ICE — ICE stands for “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”. This represents an international agreement among Emergency Services Workers that in case of emergency they will look for the person’s cell phone and on the contact list, “ICE – Jane 555- 555-5555″, will designate the name and phone number of the person who should be contacted. Make sure your parents (and you) have ICE in your cell phone! If your parents don’t have a cell phone, make sure that list is kept in their wallet at all times.

Hopefully, these suggestions will give you a place to start as you talk to your parents about the future. Please let us know if you have any other questions about our medical alert systems and how they can provide independence and peace of mind to our senior citizens.

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